Wonkette
Well, hopefully YOU have a date for Valentine’s Day, you little minx you. Your Intern the Third will be sequestered, in mourning, at one of the these fine drinking establishments.
- Thursday, Feb. 12: Stock up on hobo beans, or whore diamonds or whatever you people use for currency these days, to trade for in-kind entrance to this single malt Scotch tasting at the Willard Hotel. $20 in advance, starts at 6PM. [WaPo]
- Thursday, Feb. 12: Gratuitous misspelling of ‘costume’ aside, this actually looks kinda like something fun — it’s the Kostume Kareoke Happy Hour at Solly’s, with a smattering of free food and $3 rail drinks. FREE, starting at 6PM. [Solly's Tavern]
- Friday, Feb. 13: It’s not hard to meet people in DC, at all, so this Four Minute Dating (!) Valentine’s Eve Singles Party won’t get ANY BUSINESS. But oh, heyo, organizers say more men are “needed.” $30 in advance at Ultrabar, starts at 7PM. [Things To Do DC]
- Saturday, Feb. 14: Nothing soothes a searing heart like peppermints and Scandinavian dance pop Why not, it’s not like the Scotch helped all that much either. And it’s also free! Second floor of Rock and Roll Hotel, starts at 9:30 PM. [Rock and Roll Hotel]
- Sunday, Feb. 15: Where will you find yourself on Sunday morning? If you’re lucky, within reach of a bottomless Bloody Mary at Creme. This is always available on Sundays, but those of you still holidng “jobs” are probably furloughed on President’s Day anyways, so here’s your chance to really make a big deal out of it. Starts at 10AM; the earlier you go the better. [Creme]
- Sunday, Feb. 15: Preserve what remains of your dignity and your liver, and go to the Freer Sackler Gallery to watch a sad sad movie with no alcohol at all. Over There is about the “inner-workings of marriage” (?!) and green card renewal. Can’t wait to see how Lou Dobbs factors in! Meyers Auditorium at 2PM, also free, yay (but get there an hour early). [Freer Sackler Gallery]
Let me be the first to say this post is slightly askew.
I actually enjoy imbibing at many the these drinking establishments.
$30.00 for a four-minute date? Who are we, Eliot Spitzer? Anyway, I’m busy that night, as I will be forlornly drinking a beer and muttering to myself.
Hmmmm VD= Valentines day AND Venereal disease… coincidence?
I don’t live anywhere near DC, plus my wife will be working all day to support my unemployed ass. So I will just wait for her to get home and then we’ll get it on. If she’s not too tired. Plus all the drugs I’m taking make alcohol no fun anymore.
Am I wasted, or is the Wonkabout background blue?
I plan to get drunk, watch rugby and get into fights all day. Clearly, I will not have time for all of this classy shizz.
SayItWithWookies: I fucking hate Valentine’s Day. Me and some Seattle peeps will be getting shamelessly wasted and harassing happy couples.
I got a great idea for a new toy, it’ll sell a million. It’s called “Itty Biddy Biden”. You could sell it all over DC in all the great tourisht kioshks. Then you could make him go on an “Iddy Biddy Bidet”! How great it that?
Alas, there’s only one Valentine’s Day and several potential Valentines. I suppose I shall have to go to the highest bidder as usual. Gigoloing, or whatevs, ain’t easy.
guys, i love you but please tell me there’s more going on in DC than this!
here’s what to do in new york this weekend.
no, i’m not saying we’re better than you DCers. but we’ve gotten pretty good at drinking our sorrows away and listening to great music.
Oh Hai!
Come here a minute: I hate you . . . for beating me to that really bad pun.
So I’ll just have to eschew Askew, I suppose.
A flea and a fly
In a flue
Were imprisoned, so what
did they do?
Said the fly, “Let us flee!”
Said the flea, “Let us fly!”
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
By which you also mean, “Gratuitous misspelling of Karaoke aside”.