Wonkette
A full two thirds of the most recent Georgetown University Public Safety Reports have involved an unknown male entering someone’s home and hovering in or around the resident’s bed until being “asked” to leave.
MPD has reported seven similar intrusions since the first weird assault in January 2008.
“The suspect in many of the cases is described as a white or Hispanic male, approximately 5′10″ - 6′0″ in height, with a medium build, wearing dark colored pants and a collared shirt.”
Is the “Cuddler” up to seven Georgetown assaults? [Vox Populi]
Damn, Bill’s loose again!
Yay, Cheney has a hobby that does not include pulling shooting people or starting wars with hapless countries.
Doh!
Yay, Cheney has a hobby that does not include shooting people or starting wars with hapless countries.
Hmmmm. This is very similar to the 1998 Curien case… except without the flesh eating Zombies.
he had a wide stance and the toe-tapping is what woke them up.
Ew, ick. Unfortunately people who do this tend to escalate the level of assault. I hope they catch him before he does something worse than he already has.
Elizabeth, can I call you “View”? Cause then your name would be View Askew, which is significant for some reason.
So is he the big spoon or the little spoon?
Wow, Norm Coleman is really having difficulty managing his unstructured time.
I KNEW he was real… my friend told me about him when I decided to be super snazzy and show off my riches by takin’ the metro to visit her in Georgetown. DURING RUSH HOUR.
Are all the residents women? Cuz I’d imagine if the cuddler tried this on dudes at least one of them has a baseball bat under the bed (my parents did, for some reason) and would gladly use it Robert DeNiro-style on his ass. And his skull. But I’m guessing he just does it to chicks cuz that’s how these weirdos get their start up the sexual assault ladder.
my parents did, for some reason
Bondage play is a complex and beautiful thing.
What’s Hispanic for “Santa”?
Peanut Inspector:
Either Santa Ana or Santana… I forget which.
Under which category does this qualify for Wonkabout? Food? Art? I’m guessing Drink?
Sign him up! http://cuddleparty.com/
LNS
Could be Bill. Especially if the Cuddler made a sandwich and had a piece of cake before he left.
The above did not mention if the target was male or female. America needs to know!
Naked Bunny with a Whip: Ewwwww. Just ewwwwww.
The Unfairman: You can refer to me however you like! I am sure there are worse fates in the world than being nicknamed after the entity responsible for ‘Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back’.
Tonight, I will lull myself to sleep in the hopes I shall awake face to face with the Cuddler. I hope he’s into handcuffs.
This guy sounds amazing!!!! I wish I had super powers to inexplicably sneak into peoples’ places, sneak a free cuddle, and then completely disappear once asked to. If he came to my pad for a cuddle, I would certainly let him in, cuddle, and then make him pancakes, that’s right…pancakes. He’s so much better than that sneaky, breaking & entering, tooth fairy lady that I near beat to death with a sack of her own nickels. And Annette, yes, this person may actually be me judging by the matching description. I think I’ve got a split personality I’m just not aware of yet. Or maybe I just really get lost and do things when I sleepwalk.
Props/partyvan on Wonkette for using the Pedobear graphic on this one. I’m sure most of the “victims” were of consenting age.
I was going to say, based on my extensive Law & Order: SVU-based knowledge of the sex perverts, that he probably won’t keep it at “cuddling” for long, but I flipped over to the underlying article and saw that he’s already attempted rape once and actually raped if he’s the “Maryland Cuddler,” so laff value = significantly decreased.
Pedobear is an epic win.