Wonkette
A few lovers’ quarrels aside, people in DC and New York City just love to visit each other. We love it enough that an industry of low-cost bus services has given birth to itself just to meet our human demands. Sure, it’s not as sexy as a train, or as opulent as a fancy personal automobile, but that’s what you get.
The only problem is that the bus lines are notoriously fickle, in both price and quality. Sure, you can get the occasional $1 promotional fare, but you may have to book the ticket three months in advance.
The Washington Post and Washingtonian provide handy guides to DC-NYC-DC bus fares, amenities and pick up/drop off locations. (They just need a little updating, which we will do now, for you.)
The newest bus line to serve the hungry masses, the Tripper Bus, took its maiden voyage just last week. Similar to the other lines, it claims to provide large seats, wireless internet, and $1 teaser fares. Its competitive advantage may well turn out to be its provision of electrical outlets, a luxury not yet prevalent on the bottom-dollar bus circuit (BoltBus is the only other line with outlets). Tripper Bus collects its passengers in Rosslyn and Bethesda.
Have you taken one of these buses? Tell us about it, here in the comments!
I’m sorry, but unless there’s a goat in the aisle and chickens in the overhead storage bins, it doesn’t really count as a bus, IMHO.
Flourising? Isn’t that how the Communists are sapping our precious bodily fluids?
I rode the WiFi enabled Chinatown bus to the Inauguration about a month ago, but sadly not the Tripper bus, which is no big deal, since I already took a ride on the FURTHUR II bus one night in SF about 15 years ago on a day Ken Kesey was in town to work on his stage version of The Wizard of Oz.
My poor, straight-laced, never smoked a joint in her life, GF had no clue who any of these freaks were. Though that didn’t stop her from calling all her friends the next day to breathlessly tell them that you’re either ‘on the bus, or off the bus.’
Good times, let ‘em roll.
Serolf Divad: What if someone bathed in urine falls asleep leaned against you? Does it count as a bus then?
is that bus armed? It looks as if there is a 20 mm gun on top of it. Are attacks made on the DC-NY run or what? Cripes. What next, IEDs? I’m not sure electrical outlets are the answer.
Anything called a Tripper Bus ought to come with complimentary pharmaceuticals.
qwerty42: It’s for the always-dicey approach to the port authority bus terminal.
I have taken Bolt and MegaBus several times each. All are better than experience I have had on Greyhound. I have never spent more than $10 on a ticket.
Bolt broke down once. Spent about an hour at a rest stop waiting for a guy to fix the tire. They jacked up the whole bus with us on it. Adventurous indeed.
MegaBus has no outlets - annoying. On the plus side they leave more often. They also have a stop north of Baltimore with free parking if you want to leave your car for awhile.
If you prefer a less crowded bus, take Bolt to the NYC 6th & Canal stop instead of Madison Square Garden.
Even armed, that bus does remind me of going up the country.
I rode Megabus from Baltimore to NYC (though obviously it goes to DC too). I felt somewhat the victim of a bait and switch, as those shiny blue double-decker buses are not used on all runs — many trips just use ordinary Coach USA buses, which are smaller and older and dingier don’t have Wi-Fi. (The seat directly in front of mine had what appeared to be a blood stain on it. At least, I hope it was blood.) It was fine for what we paid though, and so much radically cheaper than the train, even though the train is significantly nicer.
I’m hoping to take lots of these trips in the spring, as I’ll be in DC for 3 months but will have to get to NYC to my family about once a week. 10-ride ticket on Amtrak is $82 per one way trip. I fucking hate buses as I worry terribly about the drivers falling asleep behind the wheel, especially on long-ass rides like DC to NY. Anybody have any info on what kind of rules dictate how and when drivers get breaks, and whether they are allowed to hold down additional jobs?
Okay, you want to hear a real-life, honest story about these low-rent bus trips? Last April a bunch of us took one of these things from D.C. to New York. First, a group of morons sat in the back and yelled and talked loudly and cussed out loud the entire trip, despite us telling them to shut the hell up. The driver should have stopped and said something, but he didn’t say anything. The bus company had promised hook-ups for computers, but the hook-ups didn’t work for several people. The bus company had promised the trip would take “no longer” than 4 1/2 hours. The trip took six hours and 10 minutes. The bus company had promised that there would be a 20-minute stop so people could stock up on water, drinks and snacks and go to the bathroom in a real bathroom. Strangely, the bus did not stop for a break–which we found out later is actually a breach of contract and against the law. That’s right–illegal. Illegal. According to interstate transit rules, for trips over a certain length of time, the bus is required to stop for a break–and the bus should not leave the stop location until every person who paid a ticket is accounted for. The bus’ bathroom was not clean–that’s not good for a six hour and 10 minute trip without a stop. The driver barely acknowledged anyone on the bus–for six hours, and made no announcements via a p.a. system, which is also required. The drivers are required to make announcements about delays, to have an open communication system with riders, to keep the bathrooms clean, and to rein in unruly, obnoxious riders. The actions of this company and this driver were illegal, and against all standards for interstate bus travel. If you see any similar problems on these buses, contact the company, contact the officials in the cities in which the bus company operates, and contact the U.S. Department of Transportation. Dozens of other people have expressed similar problems with similar bus companies, here and in other cities, by the way. Complaints are numerous–and some are far worse than this little tale. A word of caution: Buyer beware. It might be worth it next time to take the car after all.
Dudez- I have taken all of the bus lines, and the secret is that THEY ARE ALL THE SAME, with the exception of outlets. I almost prefer the buses without outlets, as then there’s no passive aggressive fighting over who is entitled to use the outlet. Are the outlets for exclusive use of the person sitting in front of them, or can their seat partner use them too? There’s space for two plugs, after all. Jesus.
thefrontpage: yeah, but I was traveling from Roanoke to San Fran on a Greyhound in my college days, and the bus broke down for six hours in the Middle of Nowhere, TX. Literally the middle of some kind of desert, with nothing around. It’s a bus, and they all suck.
I have taken BoltBus. The only thing i can add is that the seats are leather (or leatherine,) for those of you that like that a little glamour with your transport. In any event, much better than Amtrak’s rat-infested sewer-trains.
MathewBrooks: “..Amtrak’s rat-infested sewer-trains.” wow. is that they advertise them?
I’ll just throw out that DC2NY is a pretty good option — not as cheap as some of the others I gather ($50 round trip) and it doesn’t always have outlets (I’ve heard rumors that some of their buses do, but I’ve never ridden one).
But on the other hand, they let passengers vote on a choice of movies to watch during the trip (and “none of the above” is an option) and on whether to stop.
The biggest perk for me is the NYC pick up and drop off is right next to Penn Station… which is much more convenient than Bolt Bus locations look to be.
Mr Blifil: Smoke a joint beforehand, it makes everything ok.
I agree with Squish, it’s a fucking bus. If you want something “nice” then fly.
MathewBrooks: Um… rat-infested sewer trains? A little bitter towards Amtrak there?
ChatteringClass: Boltbus gets you to Penn Station (in front of one of the uptown 1 entrances, across 7th ave from the MSG/Amtrak entrance) or the west end of Chinatown.
Personally a fan of Bolt. Having (mostly continuous) wifi for the trip makes it go by a bit faster, and their fare cap of 25 makes it competitive with the other lines.
I take the bus or train up to NY every other weekend to see the BF. Here’s my take.
Boltbus, DC2NY, and even Eastern Travel (a more “chinatown bus” experience) are all reliable, cheap and have WiFi. Boltbus has the newest buses and the fake leather seats seem cleaner than the upholstery for obvious reasons. The clientele on Eastern Travel can be a bit sketchy but their drivers are the most efficient. Which means they drive way too fast but get you there on time. I once made it back from NY on a Sunday night in the rain in about 3 hours, 45 minutes. Sometimes you get a free snack on DC2NY. You should never depend too heavily on the WiFi working for the duration of the trip though.
The trick for all of these is that you should try to leave before 2 PM on Fridays otherwise the trip is going to take more than 5 hours because of traffic outside of Baltimore and on the Turnpike. If you have the option, take the 7AM Boltbus on Saturday morning.
My worst experience: 9 AM bus back from NY. I sat next to girl who ate a white onion and swiss cheese sandwich for breakfast. If I had been on the train I could have taken a walk to hang out in the cafe car. On the bus, I was just stuck.
I took the Bolt Bus from NY - Boston yesterday… the bus was full and the wi-fi worked very well most of the time. The driver had a really scary voice on the PA system and the trip took longer than it said it would on the ticket, but we did get to stop for a break and the bus was pretty clean. Overall a good experience, especially for the $20 I paid for it (I booked pretty close to last-minute).
MathewBrooks: Rat-infested sewer train, pah. If money is no object, Amtrak is far and away the best way between Balto./DC and NYC, certainly preferable to flying. More legroom, cafe car, and you don’t end up an hour or more from the city center on either end. And now you even have to worry about being molested by Joe Biden in the restroom.
nestor: Oh yeah, flying is sooooo nice.
Snuggles McButterworth: WTF kinda sandwich is that? White onion and swiss cheese? I’m as poor as anyone but DAMN! Take note Wonkette, hobo beans have been replaced by ‘onion sandwiches.’
And who wants to take a black light to the upholstery on an Amtrak seat? What do you think we’ll find?
Josh Fruhlinger: Obvs you have never been ‘delayed’ in Philadelphia for three hours. and obvs you have never been delayed in Philadelphia for 3+ hours more than 3x.
First let me drop a quick definition of perfect competition: if you are a company and you do not offer a differentiated good or service and there are not significant barriers to enter the market, you (yes, you megabus) are in perfect competition. Megabus’s stance on this position can be best described in the following anecdote:
I was scheduled to leave Wash, DC at 5:45 pm on Thursday evening. By 6:30pm, I had put a serious dent in my flask reserves, watched 3 Bolt Buses come and go, and spoken with my new best friend Jamina twice, who works the phones at Megabus’s office, which I picture to be a giant yellow school bus. It is safe to say that they don’t pay Jamina enough because she sounded quite disgruntled and perhaps slightly hungry. She asked me if I could inform the other 50 passengers that the bus was stuck in a major accident in route. Where? She couldn’t tell me. I took that as an opportunity to tell my fellow passengers that we should all board the next Bolt Bus. Where’s the bus stuck? Personally, I would rather be wrong than vague so I guessed New Jersey. I was able to convince about 10-15 people to board the next Bolt Bus, which left at 7pm. Still no Megabus.
I will digress from the Megabus rant to comment that our Bolt Bus was held up by a slew of angry passengers in nearby Chinatown. They stood in front of our bus in true Tienanmen Square fashion, furious that they were never picked up incompentent bus company X. After a half hour of dealing with police, our bus cruised at approximately 90 miles an hour and made it to NYC in 3.5 hours.
Now allow me to describe a serious of 2 phone calls with my friend Jamina. This first was from the bus between 7pm where I asked nicely for a voucher for another ride because I had waited for an hour and didn’t want to wait for another hour. Low and behold, Jamina informs be that “Megabus cannot control traffic, no voucher could be issued.” She was so right! How daft am I to think that Megabus could control the ebb and flow of 2 million cars from NYC to DC? I was stymied and after 20 minutes of trying to explain that her traffic claim only makes sense when I’m ON THE BUS. For example, “I’m sorry to hear your ride took 8 hours, but we can’t control the traffic. We can’t help the fact that you traveled the day before Christmas.” Where was the bus at that point? “Can’t say.”
Now allow me to describe my second conversation with Jamina, the following day. I informed her that I had made it safely to NYC and that I was really excited about seeing Paul Simon that night. I asked again, nicely, if I could get my money back because I never rode on their bus. She came prepared, and she fired at me the statistics, “Your bus arrived at 6:30pm and left at 7pm, you could have gotten on your bus.” False, at 6:30pm I was standing next to a guy named Sean who was flasking whiskey and I guy who was hitting on a random girl despite the fact that she told him she was visiting her boyfriend. Jamina told me that I was lying, because they track the buses with GPS. Cool, so the GPS worked upon arrival but didn’t work when trying to locate the bus in traffic. It is very difficult to argue with a todler because ultimately in their little world, the rules don’t apply.
Allow to wrap up a long story (my appologies, thanks for reading) by hoping that my 20 dollars makes it into the hands of Jamina, because she deserves it. In the face of logic, Jamina stood strong, reciting her company policies depite the fact that it made her look like a dummy. Also, thanks for making my ride home even more enjoyable by forcing the entire double decker bus to watch FRIDAY the 13th (with sound — mostly screaming)! Thank god none of my sexual exploits have produced children because I would have hated to explain sex, drugs, swears, and murder to my child aboard your cramped vessel.
I hope this letter finds you Jamina. Adieu.
I’ve taken both Eastern Travel and Bolt Bus. If I had a choice, I’d do bolt. But $35 round trip on the Chinatown Bus is fantastic.
I actually used Bolt Bus this weekend, arriving back in DC last night with two mins to spare to catch the metro. The wireless was great, the seats were comfy, the power outlets worked and the bathroom didn’t smell.
Chinatown is the opposite. I’ve seen dead roaches in the bathroom and every time I use the restroom I’m sure that I’ve caught some disease. I’ve seen people left behind at rest stops, which would suck, because who wants to be stranded in NJ?
AsherH: Bolt Bus or Bust. Seriously, I’ve never had a problem with them, and I ride that bus a ton. Also, checking e-mail while on the road blows my non-3G mind.
DC to NY and bolt bus were great. Megabus (TO NY only) was good, Megabus (BACK TO DC) was a crappy coach bus where the driver wouldn’t even let you bring a cup of coffee on board, and everyone was sneaking food. The bus back actually left 10 minutes early without an explanation.
Chinatown buses are horrible—really really awful, I was in one that had a broken light in the bathroom (pitch black, I had to pee by sound like a bat!)
Oh, forgot to mention that I have a 5.00 megabus ticket to NY in March. You really cannot do better than that.
I took BoltBus to DC and back. It wasn’t bad - you just have to pick good times to leave, I guess. One thing I would note is that we didn’t stop on the way up but that was A Good Thing as it helped us get there on time.
We stopped on the way back and it helped me get a date…which led to a lot of “bus station skank” jokes from friends who watched too much of the Ladies Man.
Still the ability to drink without care on Amtrak is kind of nice.
My wife and I take Vamoose regularly and have never had a bad experience. No WiFi or electrical outlets, but buses are on-time, clean and normally fairly quite. It does pay to choose your times so you aren’t coming into NYC at rush hour. If someone else is paying I’ll take Acela, but otherwise Vamoose is great.