Wonkette
Ever gotten one of those wacky “trivia for reading on the toilet” sorts of books for your birthday, the kind that says, “an antiquated law in Missouri dictates that anyone who puts a mule in a bathtub must be publicly flogged”? Here is another bit of trivia you might find in such a book: apparently South Carolina decreed in 1880 or so that adulterers must pay up to $500 in fines and serve a year in jail.
So, obviously, Governor Sanford should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the state law and spend a year in the clink for his sex shenanigans. Except:
A spokeswoman for the State Law Enforcement Division says the agency can’t waste limited money on trying to prosecute or arrest Sanford on such a charge. Jennifer Timmons notes there are murderers and other violent offenders to pursue.
Who knew the South Carolina State Law Enforcement Division was full of free-love liberal pansies?
Old SC law makes gov’s affair a crime [AP]
I’ve been to SC and I can believe that there are many many violent criminals walking around.
This is gay marriage’s fault.
I BET IF SOUTH CAROLINA HAD THEIR 2ND AMENDMENT ADULTERY WOULDNT HAPPEN. FREEDOM AINT FREE LIBTARDS.
That is $500 in 1880 dollars! Gold standard dollars. Thank you Sanford for personally solving the deficit problem with your sexy time fine paying!
Really? We’re believing SLED on anything right now?
Is it adultery if you do it with a pig? If so, we probably should just erect a giant wall around SC for the next 12 months.
Ah, the curse of being white, powerful and Republican in the South.
This explains how Strom Thurmond got away with all of his shenanigans.
The SC State Police also have their hands busy catching Muslin Terrirsts so can’t be accountable for persuing any other issue.
Of COURSE their are unpursued murderers and violent offenders in SC. That’s why Sanford had to go to Argentina, TO PURSUE THEM. The slice on the side was an afterthought, and in no way impinged on his ability to carry out his duties, as long as our definition of “duties” includes embarking on 5-day crying jags.
But did was the adultery committed in SC? The laws are totally different in Argentina.
Again, as the inimitable Ross Douthat proposes: “Our meritocrats could stand to leaven their careerism with a little more romantic excess.” So the law must be lenient with them, lest we end up with bored leaders who take us to war for fun.
So where are those public-interest lawsuit sticklers when you need them?
Ah, but the charge would not stick even if stuck…..said crime was committed in “Argentina” (although leaked emails indicate conspiracy to commit). Sanford clearly knew of this law, which explans his prematuer ejaculation. From Justice.
If he was humping a young lad within state lines like a normal Republican it would be another matter.
lomri: Right? Shit, Warner Brothers could have made The Dark Night for five hundred 1880 dollars….
I like that. “Putting the mule in the bathtub”. I really do.
I wonder what the PUMA community has to say about this whole mess?
magic titty: The punishment is even worse if the mule actually ends up bathing.
Clearly Gov. Sanford and his Argentine lovely must both be put into a large bathtub filled with baby oil. Then they must be flogged.Repeatedly, It is the only possible way forward.
magic titty: That is just code for adultery.
After the Muslin was elected, South Carolina had a two-day “Second Amendment Sales Tax Holiday” on guns.
If they aren’t careful, they could become a laughing stock. Jajaja!
Silly palmetto-staters. It’s 500 smackers per adulterous bang. You know, more bucks for your banging. You’re rich!
lomri: 500 1880 dollars equals how many Argentinian whore diamonds?
Bailiff, whack his wee-wee.
Let the impeachment proceedings begin
Were he a Democrat he’d be serving time by now, or worse, a Green.
Bruno: Seriously right?! I think if you go to Argentina and NOT commit adultery you get fined. You have to declare it with customs.
Poor Sanford.
Right about now, he must be wishing he could hide in his Argentinian firecracker’s Grouch Marx-style eyebrows until this thing blows over.
The SC Justice Dept. can’t waste “limited time” on pursuing this?!? Oh, wait, he confessed to it all on live teevee, so maybe it would take about 5 minutes to convict him. But I suppose they’re too busy enforcing 1920 forbidding laws blacks and whites to marry and whatnot.
Ultimate punishment for stimulus-addict turncoat San-Tan: freeze his accounts for one year and force him to apply for food stamps.
All so he can better understand the babymakin’, Caddy-drivin’ welfare queens that form his base, of course.
Crab1: Sounds like garden variety fucking to me.
South Carolina law makes public displays of unmanliness an offense against decency.
http://www.scstatehouse.gov/CODE/t16c015.htm
Bruno: You’ve neglected to consider the crime of “conspiracy to commit adultery with a foreigner”. It’s in one of the provisions of The Patriot Act.
S.Luggo: My wife’s grandmother was off-limits? Yikes, I didn’t know!
Lucky for Sanford that Maria’s not black. If she were, South Carolina law would require that he be hung from a tree while at least 100 chucklehead crackers pointed at his dead body and laughed.
Sussemilch: Notice that the SC State Law Enforcement Division did NOT mention pursuing Republican little-boy humpers.
A Better American Than YOU: Sorry, there was an out in the fine print: …”except when done as part of a recognized medical procedure.”
That’s right! South Carolina doesn’t have the cash to burn prosecuting these “laws”. I mean, if you were to be arrested every time you did something the state thought was indecent, that would be expensive. Right? Oh wait…
http://www.goupstate.com/article/20060114/NEWS/601140321?Title=Naughty-videos-seized
I believe that there is still a law on the books in Massachusetts that requires a man to sleep turned away from his wife on Saturday nights. This was done so that couples wouldn’t wear themselves out with sexytime and not be have the energy for church the next day.
Of course gay marriage made this law obsolete now that all marriages have been destroyed.
Why can’t we make him wear a big, electric, blinking, scarlet “A” around his neck for the rest of his term?
magic titty: Ever try to coax a mule into a bathtub?
A Better American Than YOU: My wife’s grandmother was off-limits? Yikes, I didn’t know!
Yeah, but did you notice that her great grandma is fair game under SC law. Kinky!
Another wacky South Carolina law: Anyone reading trivia books on the toilet must pay up to $500 in fines and serve a year in jail.
They have time to go after parking violators, why not crimes against the lord? C’mon Jesus People, show your priorities! God, I’m luvin this!
PrairiePossum: Gosh, and the “A” would stand for? Amor? Argentina? A seven letter word. What could it be?
In Maryland:
§ 10-501. Adultery.
(a) Prohibited.- A person may not commit adultery.
(b) Penalty.- A person who violates this section is guilty of a misdemeanor and on conviction shall be fined $10.
Let’s just say the Maryland courts are clogged up by overeager State’s Attys. trying to prosecute this one…
JohnnyMeatworth: Time for the bat signal. If SC law enforcement can’t take care of the problem, Batman will. SC needs some vigilantism.
Of course, the 500 bucks was also payable in Confederate dollars, a/k/a turnips.
mookworthjwilson: correction: are NOT clogged…
S.Luggo:
I’d like to solve the puzzle, Alex.
What is an “Asshole?”
PrairiePossum:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/06/30/AR2009063001581.html?hpid=moreheadlines
June 30, 2009
SC gov admits additional liaisons
“….a farewell meeting in New York chaperoned by a spiritual adviser ….”
*********
Hahahahahhahahhahahaha. This gets better and better.
S.Luggo: Pretty soon we are going to find out she worked in a state office in SC and he was doing her every week. Hey, was the spiritual advisor, Ted Haggard?
Note to self: Avoid parties in Missouri.
Damn. She’s not even hot. She’s… swarthy. She is so dark that Strom Thurmond might have even hit it.
So I’d like to apologize to the big tent that Governor Sparky has let us down by not even hammering a HOT Argentinian. How many chicks in Argentina are NOT hot? Well he found one. Embarrassing. Maybe we should kick his pussy whipped ass out of the tent. And this:
Sparky: Honey, can I pleeeeease take a trip to Argentina to eat the pussy?
Mrs. Sparky: No, you asshole.
Sparky: Please. It is the best I ever had. I simply must go and pound that shit. I would feel better if I had your permission.
Mrs. Sparky: God, I hate you.
Sparky: Please. I’ll die if I can’t go and tap that ass. I have never fucked and cried at the same time before. It’s awesome. Fluid is pouring out of me from everywhere but my ass. It is irresistible. Please.
Mrs. You have no idea how long I am going to punish you for this. Think decades…
Sparky: How ’bout if that’s my Fathers Day present. You could watch the kids and cover for me. Please? I promise I’ll pray extra when I get back. We’ll go see Cubby again…
Of course, the real question is whether the crime was commited in SC, the domicile of the violated marriage, or in Argentina, where the pipe in question was actually laid. If Argentina had sanctions for this kind of thing, they would probably be something like having to watch Fatal Attraction.
S.Luggo:
And buggery is $500 a pop there, whether it be with mankind or animal, which is why furries will never have their national convention there.
Bypartizoa: “RULE-OF-LAW! RULE-OF-LAW!”
And he asked his wife to meet with his girlfriend- so I am guessing he was thinking threesome. He is truly the frontrunner for the 2012 ticket.
But note how South Carolina law defines it: “Adultery” is the living together and carnal intercourse with each other or habitual carnal intercourse with each other without living together of a man and woman when either is lawfully married to some other person.
You see? As long as you’re not living together, it’s only “adultery” if you make a habit of it. Sanford could quit any time - in fact, he appears to have quit at least three times - so obviously it wasn’t a habit.
Jennifer Timmons notes there are murderers and other violent offenders to pursue.
I do hope they continue to have such an enlightened attitude towards law enforcement the next time I get a speeding ticket driving through the deep south.
It’s legal if one of the two parties (or possibly both) has bodacious cans, though the legal interpretation of ‘bodacious’ is up for grabs, as ’twere.
Mike Steele: Vulgar does not equal funny. You’re on notice.
finallyhappy: If he would have managed to pull a threesome off with his wife and the Argentine mistress all under the guise of Jesus I might have voted for him. Talk about the audacity of hope.
Citizen Kang: Yes, usually they just say “Son, I’m a busy man.”
Life would be so much simpler if he had just banged Miss Teen South Carolina and told her they were in Argentina.
Where is some wacky right-winger making a citizen’s arrest when you need one?
Mike Steele: OMG Now I have to clean Diet Coke off the keyboard. FYI, vulgar=funny.
Sanford reminds me of Jim Bakker. Both are clueless, married to much stronger and smarter women, and both tried to improve their miserable self image by dipping the wick in smarter tarts. I wonder if Sanford lasts as long as Bakker before he totally caves or if he goes for the same lame “I wanted someone tighter” than my wife.
MOG: Oh, I dunno. As the saying goes “Some people can be funny without being vulgar. Some people can be funny *and* vulgar. I suggest you be one or the other.”