Wonkette
Apologies in advance for those who still enjoy the Hippitty Hop and the Rap, because after watching this excruciating video, you too will finally agree that this genre of pop music probably went on for about 15 years longer than necessary …. the direct line from Vanilla Ice to this clumsy clod is actually visible in many shots.
Anyway, the circle is complete — circles, direct lines, whatever — because MC Two-Foot-Wingnut here performs the final desecration on hip hop by praising Ronald Reagan, specifically for being such an awesome president in the 1980s, the way He actually ruined the country, forever. Hell, maybe it was guaranteed, by that point, but America never recovered from Ronald Reagan, and it never will.
The endless encampments of mentally ill homeless people, the War On Negro Drugs, the creation of a permanent half-literate underclass from America’s once-happy middle class, the humiliating collapse of our nation’s infrastructure, etc., etc. …. eh god we just wanted to make a quick teabagger joke and move on, and now look what happened.
Let’s stop this exercise, now, and remember the point of this particular Wonkette post: At about 3:15 in this horrifying white-rap teabagging paultard video, there is a vaguely hot gal literally raising her hands in the air like she just don’t care. We’re going to assume brain damage here, or some kind of congenital body odor issue severe enough to even keep away the lonesome middle-aged dudes in their Barry Lyndon hats. [YouTube]
Ken, if i was your friend I would warn you that you might have had a few too many, she really isn’t even vaguely hot…
I mean, I wouldn’t stop you from sleeping with her, but I would at least warn you.
Was that sheep t-shirt some kind of Minor Threat homage?
Needs more tri-corner hats!
Dear WhingeNuts,
Please brush your fucking teeth or I will personally lock you in a room with Dr. O’rly Taitz, DDS, Esq., PDQ. and arm her with a box of Brillo pads.
theCamera is totally following that lone black guy. Clawing for that elusive ’street cred’ or outing the mole ?
I particularly like the final shout-out to Monica Crowley.
Yay! Ken you’re back from your hike in the appalachian trail. We missed you! But I agree with Fox News Light: that chick is not hot by any stretch of the imagination. But then again I am not a lesbian.
You know he’s a real man of the peole ’cause at the end he gives a shout-out to his favorite lobbying group, FreedomWorks. Budweiser, Chevrolet, apple pie and FreedomWorks, baby — you can almost smell the cut grass and the lighter fluid on the briquets.
After watching this, I had to listen to 4 hours of Prefuse 73 and Aesop Rock to flush the white fat wack out of my mind.
Hi-Caliber should be spreading the patriotic message by joining the military and bringing God and democracy to Afghanistan.
Ah but Ken you forget that such a desecration was already performed, 20 some years ago or so, via the “Ronnie Rap”, including the immortal line “push, push, into George Bush”
Dreamer: Fox News Light: I was trying to find something nice to say about this awful video of human failure, you know …. for thanksgiving?
Lookin’ for some crazy wingnut lovin, huh? Thinking you’d like to slap your nuts on a wing-nut? Be careful, or she’ll go all Ron Paul on your ass.
Ken Layne: haha, fo da pilgrims, yo (pours faygo on the floor).
I am *praying* for a collaboration between this guy and the Young Cons…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkeZ2P4SiY8
Isn’t there a rapper who wants to pop a cap in this guys ass? And all the cancer mentions is that a result of his brain tumor? Too bad there isn’t any national health care he could have had that fixed.
What’s the number of days until Monica is heading to court for a restraining order? I now have a face to go with the Dixie Chicks Earl.
Thanks for the update Ken. Now my stomach is completely empty and ready for turkey.
I don’t know why this artiste didn’t call this March of teh Zombies.
fyi- safari will not open the “Going Rouge” ebook
Oh, and he sure persuaded me, too. I had no idea that I was a dangerous cancer on the nation and tried to live without principles to promote my godless delusional unpatriotic worldview until ol Lo-Wattage came out and told me.
And now, from the most humbled and humiliated bottom of my heart, I’d like to ask Mr. Wattage, as the repository of all that is holy and patriotic, to become America’s philosopher-king and deliver us from the worldly evils of evolution, cosmology, economics, math and literature and lead us into the truth and the light.
hate to say it, and yes, the lyrics themselves are garbage, but the rhymes are okay and the guy’s got a pretty good flow. repeat: pretty good, not great. the technical contrast with that young cons video is staggering.
oh, and the girl is bangin, i don’t know what some of you think you’re seeing.
It does have better production values than Lie to Me, that’s for sure.
The audio on my slaptop has been AWOL for months now but unlike in true porn browsing, this particular fap-flik is not enhanced by the absence thereof.
At some point prior to vaguely hot girl, Mr. -Caliber states he’s a starving artist.
I believe what he meant to say was “there is a starving artist inside me. That I ate.” But it didn’t fit the meter.
wait! where’s the pedobear???
El Pinche: Awesome faygo reference. And + for no cap.
SayItWithWookies: I agree. When he said “how you gonna support killin’ a baby?” I finally saw the evil of my abhorrent, cancerous alternative lifestyle. Palin/-Caliber 2012.
It’s the return of the token teabagger!!!!
Eh, the rap music has been all downhill since this one.
I had to watch this lovey, albeit abreviated, musical only because I felt compelled to know just exactly what Skuzmaster McCrud here looks like while he is jacking off and/or taking a shit.
Now I know.
Is anyone else cracking up at the ASL interpreter when he was the “first to rap on Capital Hill?”
Oh - and yes, I would DEFINITELY fuck the hot girl. If I were a dude, I mean.
She doesn’t look all that into it, or aware of her surroundings, for that matter.
This guy is so repulsive that no number of (allegedly) hot teabaggin’ babes could make him in any way, well, anything. A big zero. If there is any redeeming feature to this video it is that he is not actually doing meth/ skoalspittin’.
This guy is of age to serve in the military right? Instead of “performing” for the troops, he could cold consider becoming one. We are at war you know. Aren’t we? Just tryin’ ta keep it, ya herd?
Where I live, all 3 of ‘em in a row could’ve won Miss Somethingorother, and I’d hit that.
Guppy06: She’s hoping the band plays “Casey Jones” next.
Monica Crowley? Seriously?
Good to see he’s finally off sheep.
You cant spell crap without rap. Black shirt at 3:15, would totally ask her to “bang a homey”.
Can we give wingnuts Texas and South Carolina on the condition that they would not set foot on the rest of the country? I am really tired of these ugly fuckers.
I’m going to need a birth certificate. This guy looks like a Muslin to me.
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=24474130&albumID=290635&imageID=915209
RayGun was the proof that our experiment in “Democracy” shit the bed and can never recover. Not that we can ever recover, we have never been at peace in the history of this great nation.
Bomb bomb bomb hahahaha errr errr also etc
How does this fellow expect to make it onto “Hee Haw” with an act like this?
Ouch ouch ouch…where’s the scotch?
He is very pointy.
AnglRdr: “There’s a starving artist inside me!” “Just the one, dear?”
Also, according to his Myspace he has already reproduced and his heroes include KRS-One, Eric B. & Rakim, The Beastie Boys…
That would be the same KRS-One who once appeared on a rap that blamed American neo-conservatives, the Reagan Doctrine and U.S. President George W. Bush for the World Trade Center attacks. Oh yeah he also believes that “I respect the Christianity, the Islam, the Judaism but their time is up.” The same Rakim who is a member of The Nation of Gods and Earths. And I don’t think you can get much liberal than the Beastie Boys.
As bad as Mr. Caliber is, I ran across this monstrosity and he now looks like Peter Greenaway by comparison. Be very careful watching that video — it’s a 4:17 Christian rap against the evils of front-to-front hugging. I swear.
I could convince myself she’s attractive if I repeated over and over, “That hairdo is more Barbara Eden than Sarah Palin… more Barbara Eden than Sarah Palin…” Maybe. I mean, they’re still women underneath those Teabagger shirts, right? I mean, they really are, right?
Monica Crowley is not anywhere near hot. She is nasty, mean spirited, right-wing propagandist tool. Ugly on the inside and out….
melvin: Monica Crowley, what went down in your head
Oh Monica Crowley, did you talk to the dead
Why are his eyes so squinty? It looks like he’s staring into the pits of hell, err… I mean DC. Also, excuse me while I vomit. I haven’t been this repulsed since looking at the lamer from the NY-23’s teeth.
Side note– what’s with conservatism and “art”; it seems like the ultimate contradiction.
this is the bangingest dope flow to hit the k streetz since mc rappin’ ronnie’s 2nd term mixtape dropped back in the eight-four.
pathetic. What’s with all the pointing? What a douche. It would have been SO awesome if this was a Michael Steel collabo……..
Anybody have any info on this guy? He has children? Surely they are on the CHIPS program or he’s on food stamps (he said he was hungry) He has to have atleast one DUI and/or domestic violence charge.
Shout out to Freedomworks?!! And he didn’t give props to Dick Armey? ??
This is so wrong. Libertarians must be ashamed of what happened to their “movement.”
At the very end, there is a little blue text box that says “I am astroturf”, are these people even slightly aware that astroturf means they are ignorant pawns being used for the benefit of big corporations and special interests? Or do they think it is a badge of honour?
Was that Nate?
Skoal Rebel can sing?
Jim89048: Nah. The Sufaris were dope, but this was the final flowering of rap music as we once knew and loved it. Not a single limp wrist, sheeple shirt or Reagan cutaway gag as far as the eye can see.
boy_howdy: I need to call poison control. I think I just overdosed on whiteness.
I somehow doubt he’s the first rapper to broach the delicate topic of teabagging, either.
This is why White People should be banished from rap— forever. The end.
“A big shout-out to everyone in the 9/12 project”
Really?
Somewhere, Vanilla Ice just grew more musically attractive by comparison. Ah, attractiveness by comparison; the best kind of attractiveness.
Ew…I think Andrew Sullivan secretly masturbates to this video.
shortsshortsshorts: you’ll have different opinion when lou dobbs drops his 2012 announcement mixtape with a HOTT SALSA BEAT.
LowerdPeninsula: real world comparative judgment is the best. PRAGMATIC.
Three times one minus one can never make this ayyyite
Gracious! He certainly is light-skinned for a a colored fellow. He seems to be extolling the virtues of ‘patriotic people?’ Eh, how can this be a bad thing? Certainly it is a step above boastful rejoinders regarding the slapping of bitches and the killing of law enforcement officers.
I shall bookmark this fine composition for my patriotic mummy, who has never voted, save for Republicans, in all her 78 years, to my knowledge. She’s rather fond of tricorns too, if memory serves!
You had me at “Teabagger Rap Video.”
OK, here’s the situation: Ms. Palin went away on a weak vacation…
Click: I can only hope that he’s off the Black Sheep as well.
I want to see his “Share the Sacrifice Act of 2010” video.
Why didn’t someone tell me that Joe the Plumber was pursuing a rap career?
Why doesn’t someone tell this person-thing to PLEASE STOP?
Yikes! Holy crap! I this the hip-hop hero Steele was talking about?
I always get warm and fuzzy inside when Ken makes fun of Reagan and the War on Drugs.
Wigger, please.
I’m scared. Someone comfort me with a Christian side-hug. (Front hugs is for sluts, yo, is my understanding after watching the monstrosity SayItWithWookies so kindly shared.)
vonneumannuniverse: It’s not good but it’s not truly awful. With the “I am astroturf” notice, I have to question his sincerity in relation to this gloorious event….
F— you Wonkette Web site people for showing us this. God.
I see why he referred to himself as a “starving artist” (although he looked like he hasn’t missed too many meals). And, I saw a negro in the video, too. That makes the effort bipartisan.
Dude, that is a SICK new jack swing beat.
Appropo of nothing, it just occurred to me that fetuses are not American citizens, not having been born in the U.S.A and such. It’s time for a Constitutional amendmend, or border fences!
Shame! All you HATERS
DJ Redwing B a t-baggin’ mofo
Helpin’ us answer
Is they angry cause they fat
o’ fat cause they angry?
Lazy Media: Wegroe is more appropos.
Wow, he looks like a were-groundhog…
Jerri: Sorry, side-hugs are for dudes only, Xtians aren’t allowed to touch girls no how. She might be somebody else’s property! Side-hugs were invented to alleviate discomfort/stimulation caused by dick-to-dick touching.
I have a tango dance class that that song would be good for. You don’t hear a lot of good songs to practice the tango to. So thanks and sorry your facial hair looks like that.
What’s he got against Shaun? http://www.shaun-sheep.com/history.htm
Dreamer: meh, she’s alright, but looks like she would quickly become a pain in the ass and not worth the trouble.
I stand in awe of wingnut wit and creativity. This video is to hip hop what An American Carol is to cinema! If only the MSM would acknowledge how cutting edge these waddling pasty faced bozos are.
Mr Blifil: Good point. Plus a lady side-hug might mean accidentally touching some side-boob, and that would send Mr. Christian Rap Guy into the fetal position for sure.
Wasilla Ice in da hizzouse.
3rd Bass would be rolling over in their collective graves, if they were dead.
How much would we have to pay to get Steeley-MIC to perform this? Whatever it is, it would be worth it.
El Pinche: haha you just flushed in like seventeen more pounds
KEN may I just point out that I posted a link to this way back here.
Much hilarious discussion ensued later in the thread mostly from Larry McAwful.
Can you pls make more of an effort to keep up with your Wonketteers, esp. ME ME ME!
I find this, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqwN1-dJFmk more appropriate to what I thought were the Teabagger tastes.
P.S. Thanks for pointing out Vaguely Hot Gal. She’s mixed in with so many Not Hot Gals that it would be really rough to hit that, however. It must be noted that my sense of smell actually works - “congenital body odor issues” might not be so bad for a B. Lyndon who has lost (or never had) said sense of smell.
Will treatment for “liberal cancer” be included in the public option?
Oh yeah, and get your fucking finger out of my face!
He cold dissed Glenn Beck.
Hey, let’s all buy “I am not a sheep” t-shirts and wear them to the next rally! That’ll show ‘em we think for ourselves!
What this video needed was more Furries.
Look if you say there is a hot girl in there, we need more info. That thing is four minutes long.
Honestly I’m still not sure which one it was. No one really stood out, but I will say that most were above average when compared to the average tea party female who usually resembles an older and paler K-Lo in shorts and a baggy bald eagle t-shirt.
wow his teeth are awful. why didnt he think of doing his promotional gimmick with a mime doll act? (closed lips etc….)
Cuz, your smack is so phresh. I can say that too because, I’m, uh, near.
This is what happens when your movement doesn’t have any black people.