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GREAT LEGISLATORS OF OUR TIME

David Vitter Will Protect Ladies From Medical Recommendations

David Vitter may or may not have ever introduced a legitimate piece of legislation into Congress, but he sure knows how to skim the top during the amendment process, for demagogic things to exploit! His press release is like… Barbara Mikulski already introduced an amendment for this, but what does that skank know about jug cancer? David Vitter respects the dickens out of women.


1:45 PM on Wed December 2 2009
By Jim Newell
1238 Views

  1. raysmuckles says at 1:50 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    I shat my giant diaper when I heard this news.

  2. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 1:52 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    This will hereafter be known as the “Bitter Shitter Vitter Protects Access to Titters” amendment.

  3. I thought Vitter’s pet cause was colon cancer?

  4. freakishlystrong says at 1:53 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    Ok, “Jug Cancer” is right up there with “guano faucet”.
    Poor Diaper Dave. Fuck you. We don’t need your protection.

  5. memzilla says at 1:54 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    He invents this amendment and yet did nothing to stop Charity Hospital in New Orleans from being closed. Oh right, that was the hospital that The Poors used to go to. Wouldn’t be much mileage in doing anything about that, I guess.

    http://www.theroot.com/views/waiting-charity-new-orleans

    What a colossal dickwad. With diapers. Also.

  6. SayItWithWookies says at 1:55 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    Your Incontinental Congress at work.

  7. Chickensmack says at 1:55 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    I’d like to think that he’s so detestable, that he “represents the fuck out of women.”

  8. petehammer says at 1:55 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    Who introduced the amendment first really DEPENDS on your understanding of the process.

  9. SmutBoffin says at 1:56 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    “David Vitter Introduces Amendment to Provide Strippers with Amateur Mammograms”

    FTFY

  10. freakishlystrong: “We don’t need your protection.” Speak for yourself; I’m sure his hookers always need to make sure to use protection with him.

  11. facehead says at 1:58 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    Just another politician living off the public’s jugs.

  12. Vitter Introduces Amendment to Protect Access to Women’s mammo glands

  13. proudgrampa says at 1:59 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    The Planned Parenthood ad is starting to make my eyes bleed…

    And Vitter IS a guano faucet. Also.

  14. What’s black and white and ..uh.. pink all over?

  15. AnnieGetYourFun says at 2:04 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    queeraselvis v 2.0: You, my dear… I am buying you a very expensive cocktail in a parallel universe.

  16. V572625694 says at 2:04 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    This is a shameless appeal to the Stormy Daniels electorate. “I may not have big fake boobs, but I’m willing to write unfunded mandates to get ‘em x-rayed!”

  17. Monsieur Grumpe says at 2:06 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    Dear Senator Vitter,
    Squeezing a tit and yelling “Honk Honk” is not a mammogram.
    Sincerely,
    Mr. Grumpy

  18. Does this make ol’ diaper boy a femminazi?

  19. the problem child says at 2:09 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    I bet he’s in favor of changing tables in restrooms, too. What a pud.

  20. freakishlystrong says at 2:09 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    JMP: I am speaking for myself. I don’t want his, or any wingnuts, “protection” regarding my health. The only time they care about my health is if there’s a fetus involved. I repeat; fuck you Diaper Dave.

  21. doxastic says at 2:10 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    I thought Vitter respected the dickens into women.

  22. Vitter thinks that a mammogram is a wire that you send on Mother’s Day.

  23. Mr Blifil says at 2:23 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    Vitter is a shitter.

  24. Gopherit says at 2:32 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    Vitter’s already implementing his proposed amendment:

    http://degiorgi.math.hr/~vsego/phun/free_mammogram.jpg

  25. Not_So_Much says at 2:33 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    I thought his only experience with women was those that powdered and diped his speckled, old ass. But I guess the whole nursing thing plays a part for him as well…

  26. Aflac Shrugged says at 2:34 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    Don’t get too upset, folks. He meant to protect access only for the women who are already insured.

    Well, and if you have a job where Louisiana politicians straddle you whilst they pinch a loaf, you might be able to pay cash for a mammogram. I guess that’s still Constitutional.

  27. Mad Brahms says at 3:15 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    This is like ACORN, only with boobs.

    Step one: Invent a threat
    Step two: Condemn it
    Step three: Profit?

    Everyone knows Obama hates boobs, though, because he is a gay muslin.

  28. I fervently await the day that Vitter goes tits-up.

  29. assistant/atlas says at 3:40 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    queeraselvis v 2.0: Are other members of Congress allowed to rename other people’s amendments? Because every Democrat should pledge to rename everything Vitter does as this….and put him on the Itty-Bitty Titty Committee for good measure.

  30. Extemporanus says at 4:03 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    Why is the bald eagle on Vitter’s letterhead fucking the letter ‘e’ in his last name?

    Look at the way it’s holding on to the ‘t’ and the ‘r’. Serously, just look at it. Motherfuckin’ American mascot is cold pounding the ever-loving shit out of that sexy vowels tight little aperture.

    OOOHHH BABY! YEAHHH!!

  31. you cannot be serious says at 5:29 pm, December 2nd, 2009

    Hey y’all! Have you seen the pink gloves breast cancer dance yet? Awesome.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEdVfyt-mLw

  32. Unlearned Hand says at 8:54 am, December 3rd, 2009

    I think he wants to make sure he lives in a future where he can shit in women’s bras.

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