Thinking in the heat must be bad for you because every major think tank  seems to be MIA this week. Can you get Palinized for thinking? MORE »

It’s too hot to be outside, SO INSIDE you shall go. And where to? Turns out that DC is quite the cultural destination with over 10,000 museums (give or take a few) and you should go to all of them, and you have time to because August is hot and boring.  What’s more, super expensive museums, like the Newseum, are offering discounted tickets in August leaving you NO excuse not to go inside and get cultured. MORE »

• Friday, August 7: While it may not be nearly as exciting as the Air Sex Finals that were held in DC this past June, the US Air Guitar Championships at the 9:30 Club tonight should still be an entertaining evening. Watch people awkwardly strum their stomachs for a chance to be crowned Champion and the opportunity to travel to Finland to participate in the World Championship. 8PM. $20. [9:30 Club] MORE »

The mass exodus of interns from DC is right around the corner, and it’s often preceded by the obligatory visit from mommy and daddy. Considering that these interns have provided us with numerous entertaining moments this summer, and organized the hell out of file cabinets, and did such an amazing job stapling, we figured we could do at least one nice thing for them before they leave. MORE »

Well crap. Somehow it’s almost the end of July. This is when you start thinking, “what the hell have I been doing with my summer?” DON’T LET YOUR SUMMER GO TO WASTE. Our political leaders have traveled, had affairs, and resigned; stars have died; Iran blew up; Honduras went all crazy. You deserve to have just as fulfilling and scandalous a summer as the rest of the world. MORE »

As the weather gets nicer (minus a thunderstorm here and there), DCers will flock to anything taking place outside. The Washington Post and the Washingtonian have both already compiled lists of restaurants with balconies and patios, and restaurants with patios on top of their patios. Outdoor festivals on the Mall are already starting. While a burning desire to be outside in summer isn’t exactly crazy, it doesn’t necessarily make doing something inside akin to learning about racial harmony from Pat Buchanan. MORE »

• Friday, May 15 through Sunday, May 17: Some 19 professional artists living around Dupont and Logan circles are opening their studio doors to a public astonished that it’s still possible to make a living, period, let alone do it via art. The “cultural pub crawl,” which for the curious reportedly has some food and drink available, is a group effort by the Mid City Artists (many of whom will be showing their work) and local galleries and businesses. MORE »

• Closing Sunday, May 10: OMG, Lincoln is dying ALL OVER AGAIN on Sunday, when the lovely Library of Congress exhibit boasting a gagillion artifacts in his honor is shutttered for all time. With Malice Toward None: The Abraham Lincoln Bicentennial Exhibition includes such ephemera as the oldest known copy of the Gettysburg address, inaugural speeches noted by Lincoln himself, and the Emancipation Proclamation. MORE »

Remember that time you were like “oo look a comic book about mice” and then you were like “this shit’s not funny it’s about the Holocaust”? Whoops! Well, Art Spiegelman, the author of that comic book (Maus) will be making a rare public appearance tonight at the Corcoran Art Gallery. MORE »

• Opening Friday, May 1: PostSecret, the little art project-turned-meme that has joined Netflix in bravely justifying the continued existence of the US Postal Service, is returning to its roots with a month-long exhibit at Hillyer Art Center. MORE »

The National Museum of Health and Medicine, of Lincoln blood and dead fetus fame, is pursuing its mission of making the rest of DC vaguely uncomfortable through its observance of National Hairball Awareness Day. This “holiday,” which for the fact-checkers amongst us officially took place on Friday, April 24, exists for reasons unknown to your intern. All that matters, it seems, is that it provides NMHM a reason to dust off the old hairball collection for the general public to fondle. Seriously. MORE »

• Closing Friday, April 17: We all know how your Wonkette feels about a certain New Yorker luminary, but one bad apple shouldn’t spoil the whole bunch. The Austrian Embassy is, for just a few more days, showing paintings and self-portraits by famous New Yorker cartoonist Peter Steiner. Free. [Embassy of Austria

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Heyo, here is a cherry blossom-sanctioned event that may actually be worth attending. The Cherry Blast provides a reassuring alternative to all the outdoorsy wholesome family-friendly activities you try so hard to avoid. For $10, you can get into some random SE warehouse filled with pretty much every medium of art your little heart could desire, plus a vague promise of “swag.” MORE »