Tuesday, March 16: Our President and savior Barack Obama may actually be an incarnation of the long dead and often celebrated Jesus of Christian mythology, but the Brookings Institution is nonetheless convinced that religion was left out of the 2008 election. They ask if God will make a comeback in the 2010 elections and, if so, how many Democrats he will strike down before they remember that religion and 9/11 are for conservative use only. [Brookings Institution] MORE »

Tonight, Friday, March 12 through Monday, April 19: Improv is great. Fighting is great. And when you combine the two in a Fighting Improv Smack Down where 44 teams duke it out for improv glory, the product, well, is a great, hilarious evening of (violence-free) comedy. [Source Theater] MORE »

Wednesday, March 10: Yes, someone watched you as you walked to work today. In fact, someone watches you every day, everywhere you go, because this is America, where 9/11 happened, so we’ll never forget what you’re wearing, where you’re going and who you’re talking to. This, as the Cato Institute explains, is the mentality consuming everyone, even the dirty, America-hating libruls. [Cato Institute] MORE »

Friday, March 5 through Sunday, March 14: “The Face” is a play about angry, vulgar people who do and say very bad things to each other, for fun. It will make you wonder where all the happiness has gone, but it will also make you laugh, hysterically, like no one is watching. Tickets are $30. [Studio Theater] MORE »

Very important teevee alert: The Oscars are on this weekend. Hooray! It’s Hollywood’s yearly opportunity to decide which theme — the gays, poor black illiterate children, torture, Jews kicking ass, or homeless kids saved by nice white ladies - needs their undivided attention and will provide an acceptance speech that will make conservatives squirm/feel unappreciated/take off their shirts and thump their chests. Please don’t watch it alone. MORE »

Tuesday, March 2: Who loves war? Why the Heritage Foundation, that’s who! And according to them, declaring war can be simple and fun: If a country thinks evil things about the US, why, they’ve declared war, and we must immediately fight them to the death (and maybe somewhere in there figure out how to win, because that’s probably a good idea too). [Heritage Foundation] MORE »

Oscars: As captivating as the health care summit was, booze, crime, sex and the mafia all make for much better entertainment. This is why you should head to the National Geographic this weekend to see the Best Foreign Film Academy Award nominees, to E Street Cinema to see the 2010 Academy Award-Nominated Live-Action Shorts, and next Saturday, March 6, to the AMC Loews Georgetown for their 24-hour marathon of the 10 Best Picture nominees. That’s 900,000 movies, and you must watch them all. [National Geographic, E Street Cinema, AMC Lowes Georgetown] MORE »

Tuesday, February 23: That Obama, he’s not trying to protect America from terrorism, why would he do that? Democrats don’t believe in safety, nor do they worship torture rock-star John Yoo, and this is very problematic. They want everyone to die a horrible death from a terrorist attack, because this is how Socialism works. Such is your weekly fear mongering event from the Heritage Foundation. [Heritage Foundation] MORE »

Saturday, February 20: Remember that time when Obama was just so special and was gonna flex his Change-muscle and fix America? Get back to that time — when he was better than Jeebus, Sarah Palin was taking walks to Russia, and we had several shreds of faith in government — by seeing the film Marching Band. It looks at Obama’s rise to the presidency, seen though the eyes of two college marching bands in Virginia. [Lincoln Theater] MORE »

Wednesday, February 17: Rebuilding Haiti is extremely important, which is why the country just needs a Super Bowl. It will hands-down fix everything. The Brookings Institution discusses options for how best to rebuild the country, options which really should include building a Superdome and starting a professional football league. [Brookings Institution] MORE »

Saturday, February 13: Somehow, running in your underwear around the Capitol in the freezing cold on Saturday will cure kids of their cancerous tumors. At least this is the premise for “Cupid’s Undie Run,” which starts at the Pourhouse at noon on Saturday. Registration is $25. [Cupid's Undie Run] MORE »

It snowed again, and it snowed a lot. And this time, not only did everyone have plenty of toilet paper and cookies, but everyone also got mad at Mayor Fenty for not cleaning up the streets. Well, except for folks who work for the federal government, that is, because work was canceled for the fourth day in a row. Huzzah! The city is now back to normal (?), but will be rendered helpless once again by a new snow storm coming on Monday. Can’t. Wait. MORE »

Neither snow nor sleet, nor more snow and sleet, can stop what is coming this Sunday: Valentine’s Day. BLAH BLAH BLAH, you either love Valentine’s Day because you’re happy and in love, or its mere presence makes you want to slit your wrists. (Or you don’t care.) Well, whether you’re single, in a relationship or cheating on your partner, there are plenty of things to do in DC to celebrate this (happy? sad? pointless?) day. MORE »